Mommy Wood : It's Not All Glitz And Glam - The Start Of My New Beginning

          I grew up in a non divorce family. I don't know how it feels growing up being in one. Even though I saw some of my family members go through divorces. When I started a family with my ex seperation was never a thought as it is for many couples. We was young and learning as we went along. We eventually grew apart and alot of things had happened throughout the years when we was together. When the finale blow came the only thought that hurt me the most was what about my baby. I did go through a hard breakup. I guess after spending so many years of your life with someone its life changing. We had built a home. Everything I knew, my daily routine was about to change. I wanted to stay together for the wrong reasons. I was even willing to live with this person and have a non relationship just to live in the home I had help create and most of all so my son would have both his parents in the home. I was so stupied. Of coarse that didnt happen but the thought of change had scared me to death. I eventually lefted everything I knew. My son was only about 5 and it rocked his world too. I moved into my first apartment. I had never lived by myself ever. The first 3 months was the hardest but my friends and family got me through it. I finally accepted my new life. I felt free for the first time. Which by the way we was never married. But it still feels like a divorce. I never wanted that for my son but I know now that sometimes it is the best for your children and yourself. I've heard some of my girlfreinds say,"I'm going to leave him when my kid gets a little older". I don't think it matters what age they are. Its going to hurt the same way at any age. They are going to go through emotions in there own way and handle it it there own way. For my son now he still has questions and I respond the best way I know how. The older he gets the easier it is to accept. I mean don't get me wrong there had been times that he had said I wished you and daddy were back together. And it hurts. I know that oneday he will understand. It just takes time.
             I did feel free living by myself. I thought the dating world would be so much fun. It is totally different from when I was a teen to when I was in my late 20's. I figured out I don't like dating. I had the desire to be with someone. Some nights I hated sleeping in a house all by myself. The only goal was to find someone who loved my child and accepted him. Which it is hard to find. To acually know in your heart that the person has a heart of gold. I did talk to some guys and go out on dates. But there was no way I would bring them around my son unless I knew the person might be the one.  I knew I didn't want to stay single. I wanted to find a real man..lol
              I have joint custody of my son. For the most part it works out ok. There has been some challenges. My ex and I are not best friends like some ex couples can be. But I will say that we both love our son and we have a relationship when it comes to him. I'm hoping that throughout the years it will become much better. We have both moved on. My son has two families now.
              It did not take that long to find my special someone. I remember the first time that he had met my son. I think my son was more excited than I was. He would visit us after he got off work. When he would leave, Devin and I would sit out on the front porch and wave goodbye. Devin started to wish he didn't have to leave. I wanted to have things done right so I didn't let him stay the night. I wanted everyone to get to know eachother and make sure this was a SURE thing. It really didn't take that long for me to know it was a sure thing. I threw Devin a birthday party at lake winnie. John had to work. And all Devin would say was,"I wish John was here". John made both of us happy and feel special. Not only was John having to commit to me but it was Devin too. And my son had to accept him also. Which he did. John helped us out alot to get over the whole split. He had wrote me a letter that said," even though Devin is not my son I love him just like he is mine".
              When we finally decided to move in together we had to go through change again, but this time for the better. Relationships of any kind takes work. Devin and I had to learn how to accept being with someone new. And John had to learn how to be a stepparent. Its not always easy but we all love eachother. We are still learning to this day on what it takes to make everything work. Ive learned that you have to want the realtionships you have with people and it takes effort to keep them on your part.. I can't sit here today and say that a breakup won't ever happen again. Because we don't see into the future. But I can say that I am in love and that I will  always work on our relationship. I don't want to lose what we have. I just hope and pray that in 30 years we will be together and our love is still just as strong. I have learned alot on what it takes to keep a realtionship together. But we are still young and learning day by day....

MommyWood : It's Not All Glitz And Glam -The Beginning

    It so hard to tell myself that I will be turning 29 this year.I have grown so much and yet I have, hopefully, many more years to go. I have two boys, one will be 8 in June and the other will be 2 in October. Expecting a girl in July. When I was younger I never thought I would have three kids. Maybe one I told  myself back then and it would be a boy. But I never really pictured myself with any kids. Could have been due to that my two older sister's and brother already started having kids. So I seen what they went through in parenthood. I helped babysit alot which did get me prepared for my own. Which back then times were different. I still played with barbies when I was 11 and didn't think anything about a boyfriend till I was 15. I watch alot of parenting shows on tv. And recently started watching 16 and pregnant. It so wierd to me that these kids today think so differently than I did back then. They are kids having kids. I can honestly say that I thought back then I knew everything. And I acually knew nothing. I'm still learning today what it takes to be a parent. 
      In highschool I knew of maybe 5 girls who were pregnant. Which my bestfriend at the time did get married at 16 but didn't have her first child till she was 18. I saw her and my sister give birth. And I thought at that time "gross". I also was around my best friend throughout her morning sickness and I didn't want to go through that. Even though I tried to help, she had it rough. After she had her baby I still hung out at her house alot. I seen her go through depression. How hard it was for her with a  new born baby. I had a full time job and going to school. We eventually parted ways for a while. But as of today we still keep in touch. When I was in 12th grade most of my good friends had quit school. They had relationships and started having kids. I thought back then that I was really doing good. I worked full time all throughout school. I paid for everything except living expences due to I still lived at home. I graduated. And at 18 with no worries, and with a mind set of," lets party". Which I did. Boys was on my mind. I never dated anyone in school. I dated older men.When I say older I men, I mean under 30. I had dated three guys at one time. Go Me.Not really. I was looking for a real realtionship. And then I met someone when I was 19. We became a couple. Then I moved in with him. Looking back, big mistake. But It was not to long after that I found out I was pregnant.Oh Hell. I was in love but it happened so quickly I never took the time to really think about what was to come. I thought I can handle this. Everyone was happy and all. I was really clueless.
        We were making the best out of it. We was poor. We tried not to ask for any help. Always made due with what we had even if we lived in a house I refer to now as "The shack". Didn't have food sometimes. I called my oldest sister and asked if she had the money to go buy us some groceries. I was embarressed just by the fact that it was a sign of struggle to live out on our own. But I was so thankful and I know now sometimes you have to ask for help.  And its ok.I could watch 3,9,12 on tv.Went a couple years just watching soaps, news and my favorite Dr.Phil. I felt for the first time to go through a period of time in my life being poor. Alot of my friends didn't like my boyfriend for many reasons so I did feel alone. But when your in love, you will endure anything. I started to get excited after my first doctor's visit. We are going to be first time parents. A family. We eventually moved out of "The Shack" and started living in his brothers house taking over payments due to his recent divorce. It felt good to say Im buing a house. There is nothing like the feeling I can make this place the way I want. I did have a nursery. I put up anything anyone would give me. So between seseme street and winnie the pooh. It had a little bit of everything. I had quit my job at Hardee's due to being sick all the time. And it was very lonely living out in the boon docks. All our money went on bills.  So I never got to experiance going out and buying whatever I wanted for my first born.
          I started to experiance depression for the first time. At noones fault it just would creep up. I would put on a happy face in front of everyone and inside wasn't spitting of happiness. That was something that I did't talk to anyone about back then. I guess to embarressed, but now I have learned not to be like that. Sometimes you can't help how to feel. Eventually I took myself to the emergency room due to a panic attack and they prescribed me medication. I never had a panic attack before or seen anyone have one. I thought I was going crazy. It didn't go away untill after the pregnancy. But after 9 long months it was finally time to have this baby boy. I still really didn't know what to expect. Being so young I realize I should have asked more questions and open up more to people. But we all have to learn from our mistakes. After having him I didn't have post partum depression. I felt like myself again in a sense. And was alot happier.
      When went into the hospital at 6 a.m. I was scared. I did have the mind set,"ok, I can do this", "girls has been doing this forever ago". Checked into my room. Got that annoying gown on. Sitting in the bed getting hooked up to iv's and monitor's. Which wasn't so bad the first couple of hours. They started the drip of pitocin to start my labor. If I could go back in time I would have just said Im sitting at home until my water breaks. The reason being is I sat in that bed until 6 to 1 and my body still hadn't dilated past 1. My body wasn't really responding to the medicine. They came in to check me and "whoops" my water breaks about 1p.m. I swear as soon as it breaks, I started having major back labor pains. I could feel every contraction. I was holding off on the epidural due to I haven't dialated past 1. I held on the the bed rails for dear life. The pain for me was horrible. I indured it for 5 hours. Still no change in my cervix. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I asked for it. But due to my surprise they said it would be best to do a c-section. Since once the water breaks a baby can only be in the sac for so long. After all the pain I said ok. I was so nervous. More so than having it naturally. I had never had any kind of surgery. But I was so tired. Lets just get it over with.That was at 5 p.m. in the afternoon. So tired. And I really wanted to eat.lol
       Going back to the surgery room is a piece of cake now.lol. Not really. I still get butterflies. But After I went back and was prepped. Which I have to say. I don't mind needles but the one they put in your back is not fun. What got me through it was knowing this baby was about to be born. I would never be the same. Even your mind set is changed. It was actually quick. Next thing I knew the baby was out and you could Ihear him cry. Best feeling in the world. I knew he was ok. My body had produced a baby. Devin Micheal Ray Surrett was born at 6:15 p.m. on June 23, 2004. They had to take him to the nursery for all the normal routine stuff. After I was released from recovery i was wheeled to my room. We stopped at the nursery so I could see him in there. I tried to sit up and instead of looking at him. I got sick and couldn't stop vomiting. I was so tired. As soon as I got to my room they gave me something to help me sleep. So as soon as the baby came to the room I woke up once to see him. Then I was out cold. The nursery is a blessing. I got plenty of rest and was able to leave the hospital in 3 days. Having a c-section sucks. For me it is very painful and you are slow at doing everything. I wish I could have experianced the vaginal birth in a way. Most woman say the feel 100% better right after the delivery. My little man was a very good baby. He hardly ever cried even up to 6 months. Being a first time mother became so natural. Mainly because I had been around babies most of my life. It was a relief just to go home. My attitude had changed from being scared about what was to come to I  now know what to do.
         Being a stay at home mother is hard work. But being 20 years old when I had my first I had so much more energy. I didn't care getting up all throughout the night. Now Im like a walking zombie. Devin was a good sleeper though. I had him in a bassinet by the bed so it was much easier. The first 6 months to me was really easy. Thank goodness that he never got sick until he was over a year old. I didn't breastfeed and the reason is everyone I knew didn't. I didn't have the knowledge about it. After Devin was 3 months old I went back to work. 40 hours a week in a mill. It was hard work. I really missed out on alot not being with him 24-7. But I did have a pride in working to make a better life for my family. Looking back working and staying at home has both pros and cons. Before I knew it my little boy was starting pre-k at 4. Now working had its downfalls. There was times I couldn't get off work or take the time off to take him to the doctor. I had to rely on others. I wish every workplace would change company policies to make it better for the working parents. Its bad enough we have to pay high insurance for healthcare.
           At every age of your childs life has its own challenges. When Devin was like 3 I about had a heart attack. I was walking him to his room. We was holding hands. He was also mad at me for not letting him do something. So he started to pitch a fit. He threw himself backwards landing on his butt real hard while I tried to hold on to him while holding hands. He started to really cry. Then holding his arm. I thought his arm was broke or something. We rushed him to the e.r. and the whole way up there he cried. Got back to the room and the doctor came in. We told him what had happened and said ok. He started to explain while holding Devin's arm that he had strained a legament in the forearm part where it bends. He had his arm laid out straight and pulled his hand toward him. He pulled on it good. The strain part went back to it place. Devin sat up and stopped cring and said,"all better". I couldn't believe it. The doctor had explained that he has seen numerous of children come in the e.r. with the same problem. What a relief. First he was ok and second that it happens. I now know what to do. Thankfully thats the only emergency situation ive been in with my kids.
         Im going to sum this part of mommywood up by saying in the beginning we all think we know every little thing about being the perfect parent. We are not perfect but we can strive to be. No matter if we have one kid or five it is a everyday challenge. Its not about us anymore its about the children. They rule the house. Or atleast they think they do...lol

Is It Yardselling Time Yet ?...........

    I never thought about yardselling until after I had my first child when I was 20..9 years ago..But ever since then it has been like a high for me. When I was younger about the only thing I did was go to flea markets with my dad, which I still like doing. When I had my first child I did not work, so money was tight. Mostly everything was hand me downs or what other people bought..Which is always a godsent. And to this day I accept anything anyone is going to throw out. Hey its Free..To this day almost all my home decor, clothing, childrens clothing, outside decor, and other things I have bought to put up for my own house oneday has been purchased at a yardsell. Most the time I have been told by people who comes in my house they like my stuff and I respond I bought it at a yardsell, and they are like no way. And when I get tired of my own stuff, I resale it. I change, so does my taste for things.
   When I met my ex's aunt and his great aunt, which are both in there 60's, they would ask me to come yardselling with them. After the first time going with them, I was hooked. These woman knows every road names, every community or subdivisions names, and where every yardsell listed in the paper is located. Mostly cause they have done this for a really long time. We get up every saturday at 5:30 and meet up at 6..And when I say every sat. its no lie, rain or shine, we go. Usually we go from late march to nov..And most communities has a spring then fall yardsell's. When I first started going with them, we rode in a tiny truck, I would have to sit behind someone where the seats folded down off the side in the back..It was cramped. But then the oldest aunt named Ruby went out and bought a four door nissan frontier just for yardselling...Now that was a whole lot better..
     I couldn't believe what all I have found over the past years and most people can't either..but if you dont go, you miss out..Eventually after my newborn was 3 months old I went back to work. I still went every sat. unless we had to work overtime. I'm not the type to go spend my money at the mall but once in a blue moon. Going yardselling got me thinking Im just buying these people's things they bought at the mall for just quarters..now that makes me feel good..Ive seen just about everything at yardsells. Name brand pocket books, clothing, shoes, furniture, appliances, you name it ive seen it. Now you might have something in mind you are looking for and you might not find it that one sat. you go. But eventually you will. Like I said the more you go the more you will find. And Ive learned that if your gut is telling you thats to much, don't buy. There has been times Ive paid some money for something and found it at another yardsell down the road for almost nothing. And If you are telling yourself you would really like that at a good price, Buy It..Don't leave and expect to change your mind on down the road..Ive done that, turned around and went back.. most of the time it's gone, and I can kick myself in the butt...
     I buy for other people  if they are needing something or I buy for my nephews and nieces. Alot of items you can find has never been opend or used. In spring, most people get rid of what they got for christmas, like the hott toy items they bought for their kids and they stopped playing with them. Best time to buy to put up for christmas. I put alot of items up for my kids for christmas and family members. They dont know the difference..lol..
       Some people might thinks its crazy or a waste of time, oh well, you don't know what your missing or how much you are saving. My boyfriend John didnt understand it until I started bringing home brand name clothes for him that Ive bought for just dollars. And other things like tools and outdoor stuff.. now he don't like to go because he says he never finds anything.. But you have to go more than once to find anything. And really you have to do your research to find the best yardsells. Then you'll run upon more yardsells that people don't list in papers or on the computer.
      I truely love going. This will be something I do as a hobby for the rest of my able life. I will be posting yardsells on my facebook when people start having them. And if anyone would like to go with me, lets go.

Hobbies #2

Hobbies #2

   When I was growing up I loved playing outside. I would roam around and play in the woods. I remember we had a peach tree growing in the back yard that was so big the peaches would cause the limbs to hang down to the ground. We also had a apple tree and a garden. And my mom would have a small flower bed out front. Which at that time I had no interest in planting anything really. I would help my dad pick off vegtables on the vines. And that was about it.
   Until when I was 20. When my ex and I had moved into a house that we was buying and started to make it our home. He's brother at the time got a divorce and we took it over. The house was lefted in ruined. And the yard, it was a total mess. So little by little I worked in the yard just removing items. Junk everywhere. It took a while but I had the drive that this was my yard now and I want it my way..lol
    When I met his aunt and great aunt, which are very good friends of mine now, nothing more said, "WOW",than their yards. I was amazed. What such beauty makes a home than the art and creation of a yard. They had flowers, planters, hanging baskets, stepping stones, water fountins, fish ponds, water lilies, garden statues, trees of many flowering blooms, bird houses, vines of all sorts. And all this color of it all was so inviting. It makes you want to stay outside forever. I wanted it all. And at the time I had no clue where to start. So they dug me up some bulbs and told me to take it home and plant them. So I went home and sat on the front porch. I started thinking, "I need a flower bed". I was pregnant at the time and we went up on the mountain and gather the biggest rocks you can imagine. Some people couldnt believe we got them in truck. Got home and made my first flower bed almost around the whole house.
    The first year was just setting my ideas of what I wanted. I learned everything I know about plants from the two aunts. Took years to remember what everything was called. And if they was annuals or perennials. Every saturday we would get up and go yardselling, which I will talk about in hobbies #3. After we was done yardselling we would go to the lowes in chattanooga. They would have a clearance rack in the back that most people didnt know about. I would buy plants that would normally cost lots of money, varies, for .25 cents. No Joke. It was hard to believe that I was saving tons of money on these plants that normally these companies would just toss away due to them being root bound,ect. I was hooked. Buying plants was what I spent my hard working money on. Making my yard my sanctuary.
    Over the few years my yard became my masterpiece. When I got off work and came home I was outside. People would come over and I would show them around  to look at all my flowers and plants. They would be amazed. My yard grew and grew as so did I with the knowledge of landscaping. I want to be a landscaper, not a doctor or lawyer, something I truely love doing. Now there was times I would put hard work and money into plants and they wouldnt make it. So I learned what not to do. I would also go to friends houses and help them out with their yards. It made me feel good knowing I had learned a crafted in growing things and talking to people about it. You can have the finest house but if you dont have a yard to go with it, your house can turn out to be the ugly. I would ride around and just look at other people houses just to see what they was planting or doing to their yards.

   I love elephant ears, tulips, pansies, butter cups, tiger lilies, monkey grass, hosta of all sorts, Irises, ferns, mums, roses, clematises vines, yellow bells, I could go on and on...lol   
   As my relationship had ended. I didnt want to leave, not because of the house, it was my landscape I had created. So I went crazy..lol...For two weeks, I came home from work and dug up everything, plants, trees that wasnt to big, I couldnt leave my hard earned, back laboring items behind. I gave it all away to my friends who helped me out in my hard time in life and planted some at my moms house so I could still look at the many things I loved. I love digging in dirt and watching something I plant grow. This is my passion. So now I rent a house and I do not plant anything but in containers, which sucks. I miss my own yard. I know oneday I will have my own yard and have to start all over again. And I cant wait. I got a green thumb that is throbbing to plant again. That is a need that needs to be filled.
   And if any of my friends read this and needs help in the vision of there yards, I will be gladly to lend a hand...

Hobbies #1

  I was always one of those kids who loved arts and crafts. Since the beginning in kindergarten I remember coloring was my favorite. And throughout my elementary years my favorite class was art. I was pretty good at drawing by fifth grade. Many of my drawing and paintings were entered into contest which I had recieved 1st place ribbons for. And I have keeped most of my art, which is surprising since that was like 20 years ago. I was in art club throughout middle school and high school. I gave alot of my work that I did in high school away to my friend. She enjoyed it. Now I wish I would have kepted it. I had one friend to go to art school in savannah, ga.. How cool I thought, but she was truely more talented than me. After high school, about the only thing I do now is crafts. Art will always be one of my passion in any form of it. I hope that one or all of my kids love art and let it be apart of their lives. As I know that one day I will practice again and maybe be as good as I once was. Maybe one day I will able to travel and see in different counties their art history. If you look around, art is all around us...lol

Living like the Walton's

  The Walton's is one of my favorite tv shows. I grew up watching it when I was little. Most of the shows I watched was with my dad. Like WCW and WWF. I started watching the show again and it makes me wonder what life was like back then. It seems like life was so much simpler. I can't imagine having 7 kids though. But Ive been told thats about how many kids people had back then. "Ohh, they didnt have tv back then so what else was people to do with their time but make babies". Alot of people would say that the oldest would help take care of the youngest and so forth.  Yea right, Devin wouldn't babysit even for money.
  I remember when there was no cell phones. Pagers came out when I was in 7th-8th grade. Oh everyone thought they was so cool and had to have one. So I got a clear purple one. Thought I was so cool having it clipped to my hip and only had like 2 friends that ever sent me a beep. Then cell phones was in style and pagers was out the window. But now everyone has a cell phone and frankly mine gets on my nerves. I used to love talking on the phone when I was a teen but now I hate talking on the phone. So I could live back in the old days without a phone.
  Most produce was home grown unlike today most people just buy from the store. My dad had a good size garden most of my childhood. I used to help him out gathering and such. I loved trying to grow watermelons, most of them would bust. We grew so much that he would give most of it away. That's something that I will have when I have a house of my own one day. And you just might see me on the side of the road selling from my home grown garden.
  I remember my dad would always say " oh hell, the weather man don't know what its going to do, just go outside and look". Thats about right. I like watching tv, but what if it was never developed. Back in the day, people just listened to the radio or read the newspaper. I guess tv has made the world lazy, cause I know it does me. If we didnt have it, I would probally get more things done.lol. My dad would tell me stories about what all he done for fun back then. He was born in the 50's. He worked on a farm when he was a teen and got paid .25 cents per day. And he would go to the movies and .25 cents would pay for the ticket,popcorn and drink..Wow..thats hard to believe.
  I think life would be easier without so many distractions. But on the other hand things do make life easier. I love watching movies that represent the past. Seems like romance was different to back then..Just a thought..

My Life as of Today

  My hormones have been up and down due to pregnancy and just being a woman. I am not the type of girl who loves to be pregnant. I am sick all the time and its just not fun for me. Nine months seems like forever. Now I do like some of the perks of being pregnant like getting to eat whatever I want and extra back rubs..lol I am glad its the holiday's so I can spend more time with my man John. Since I am not working and staying home with the kids, time drags throughout the day. And I can't wait for him to get home from work. So far, John has done alot of the house work and took over the cooking.I love to cook, Im the chef in the family but I can't stand the smell of anything cooking..I dont even want to go in the kitchen or even go to the grocery store, it just makes me sick. Which the last two pregnancies it didnt bother me. Just weird, I hope it passes..
  Througout the day its usually the same, which by the way gets on my nerves..I really need change because it gets boring just staying at home all the time. I do get out some throughout the week to run errands and such. But being pregnant and sick I really don't want to go anywhere. In the morning when Dustin wakes up, Im up, which can be anytime in the morning. Then we watch some mickey mouse club house, sid the science kid or seseme street, which I dont mind its some cool shows. Then its breakfast. Now I can say every child is different because Dustin thinks he can throw food everywhere from he's highchair and my first son Devin didnt do that. So then I have to clean the mess wherever its thrown..And Im trying to get him to stop, but he thinks its funny.
  And Im pretty firm with kids. Thats what sucks sometimes. Its your babies but you have to be the parent and stick with discipline. I see so many kids who get away with everything. Not mine. My oldest which will be 8 next june. He already wants to move out when he's 18..mainly because I make him mind. Clean his room, no back talk, ect..I can't be the friend until Im the parent first. So I have a challenge with a 8 and 14 month  yr. old..
  Throughout the day till John gets home its play time, nap time, bath time, and thats pretty much it.Im lucky if I get to do anything. He has to have my attention every second. So thankfully when John gets home I can have some me time. I did'nt get to stay home with my first child. I see now what all a working mother misses out on and I also see what a full time mother goes through. But its all good..Some days are better than others..
  I get breaks every now and then on weekends when we have a babysitter for overnight stays. And John and I take full advantage of it. But when they are away we want them home..lol So thats what my weeks consist of, routine...